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Tue, Nov. 4th, 2008, 02:50 pm

Hey, if you really want to address the issues on this election day, vote for ME and MY COMIC:


The prize is one thousand dollars. I could really use that One Thousand Dollars. If I were a cartoon character, my eyes would be replaced by big dollar signs--that is how much I would like to have that one thousand dollars. If I win, I might even buy you a meal. I guess you have to "sign up" or something to vote, but the potential reward of knowing someone who has $1000 is well worth the trouble, I think. My comic is kind of half-assed, but I sure want that prize money.

In other news, Halloween went well. My costume was a shark.

On the actual night of Halloween, my shark costume had neither the duct-taped fin, nor the drawn-on teeth, nor the black pits of its eyes. Indeed, as you might have guessed from this description, on the actual night of Halloween my costume was just a pink bike helmet and me saying, I AM A SHARK. I went to a performance by a band called AIDS WOLF in a warehouse with lakini_malich and his friend Polina. I was involved in a "mosh pit" that consisted of like five other people violently running into each other and shoving each other hard in a 15 or so foot circle that the crowd had cleared. My helmet proved an advantage in this situation, as it allowed me to menace to the other show attendees with headbutts.

Outside, there were these four or five girls from Japan. One of them was dressed as a police car, one of them was Mario (she kept handing out normal, non-hallucinogenic white mushrooms), one of them was a buiding, and one of them was some kind of cartoon bunny. They kept talking to this moronic indie band fucker, who kept saying, HOW DO YOU SAY CHEESE IN JAPANESE HOW DO YOU SAY I LOOOOVE YOUR MUSTACHE. The Japanese girls loved the wit of this fresh-faced, drunk American. It was like a 20 minute conversation of this carefree fool saying, HOW DO YOU SAY MUSTACHE IN JAPANESE HAHAHA, and the four girls in elaborate cardboard costumes telling him Japanese words and slapping their knees and everyone laughing in infinite delight. Illustration: Fools Feasting, by Albrecht Durer

Then we left, and I walked around by myself in Brooklyn and listened to Anika be not supportive of my name change.

The next night, after Halloween, I at last got my full costume together. I do not remember much of it. I drank beer after beer, followed by several big plastic cups full of some kind of hard liquor. I stared at a fire. At one point, I think I tried to gum miraclejones with my "shark teeth." I sat still for about 30 minutes focusing on not vomiting. Alas it was to no effect.


Tue, Nov. 4th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)


Thu, Nov. 6th, 2008 05:12 am (UTC)

Thanx! I guess you didn't even need to sign up

Thu, Nov. 6th, 2008 05:13 am (UTC)

Nope, it didn't ask me to, although it did record my IP address.

Tue, Nov. 4th, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)

At one point you and I were jumping over that fire and you were screaming:


And John had some pretty girl on his lap and he was going:

"That's my friends, everybody. That's my friends!"

Remember when the fire department came? Four sad firemen in full fire outfits who came and put out the blaze and gave us all a lecture about fire safety?

And then I talked you into vomiting by describing how it feels to be nauseous on a train: the claustrophobia, the human smells, the vomit of others all around you, the ache and clack of the electric steel?

You came back from the bathroom and grinned at me and said:

"Your words have power."

I felt really good about that. We had a good moment right then.

Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)

Yeah, I remember jumping over the fire. There was a photo of this very practice, as carried out at a Hitler Youth retreat, in my Hitler Youth photo book. I also remember the girl sitting on John's lap, though not whether or not she was pretty. My perception of people quickly became like that in an old comic book, where there is only one male and one female face template, and the different characters are distinguishable only by their hair colors (except I couldn't distinguish people's hair colors that well either). And, yeah, I do remember how you talked me into vomiting. That was impressive.

Tue, Nov. 4th, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC)

Thanks again for coming! It was funnnnn.

Oh man, those wacky Japs would not leave my bear head alone!

Thu, Nov. 6th, 2008 05:11 am (UTC)

It was indeed funnnnn. I didn't know that you got those awesome Japanese girls to pet your head. I thought the only one who petted your head was a friendly man. Also, I have ended up liking those bands a lot, in particular AIDS WOLF. I have started to like music again! Oh and, the people at that venue I was talking about have not gotten back to any of us yet for some reason, uh, I guess I will keep you posted

Thu, Nov. 6th, 2008 05:43 am (UTC)

Holy crap, if you liked AIDS Wolf, comes see HEALTH with me Friday!

Thu, Nov. 6th, 2008 11:24 pm (UTC)

I would but I am going to the Illustration Museum! I am totally up to seeing other fucked up warehouse bands though

Fri, Nov. 7th, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)

Or "up for" even. English is not my "second language," damn it
(Deleted comment)

Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008 08:41 pm (UTC)

I know what the fuck. He is probably cheating, which is very easy to do with online polls. The only good one is the one with "Mr. Duped" stuck in the credit card stockade.
(Deleted comment)

Fri, Nov. 7th, 2008 01:03 am (UTC)

The sweet, melancholy smile of Mr. Duped--unseen in the cartoon--is itself the stockade that imprisons everybody.

Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008 06:49 am (UTC)

I voted for your comic. I had no need to log into anything of any kind.

I won two costume contests through the power of gregarity, which is a word I'm making up to replace gregariousness.

Thu, Nov. 6th, 2008 05:16 am (UTC)

Wow, yeah, it looks like it only checks your IP address and, uh, thus you could potentially give yourself hundreds of votes.

Did you win both of those contests this year, two in one? What happened? How did you use your "gregarity" to pull this off?

Thu, Nov. 6th, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)

Gregarity is the quality of being gregarious. Essentially, my moxie and charisma that seem to work extensively on drunk people did the very trick.

I won both of these contests. However, they were both in San Diego, and they were gift certificates to a restaurant and a local bar, neither of which I would be going to any time soon. I gave them to my friend Nick.

Fri, Nov. 7th, 2008 01:31 am (UTC)

I am well aware of your ability to beguile and charm drunks! I just wanted to know what your costume was. Was it a T-shirt of an 80's TV character, and you talking loudly about that character?

Fri, Nov. 7th, 2008 07:27 am (UTC)

Awww, you old so-and-so! No, I wore the entire Greatest American Hero costume and I sang the theme song from the TV show of the same name during karaoke.

Sat, Nov. 8th, 2008 08:24 pm (UTC)

So my guess was close!

BTW, OK I guess I just "hacked" this contest by using the OperaTor web browser to vote. This is stupid, I just sent them an e-mail. Maybe I will get an "honesty prize"

Sat, Nov. 8th, 2008 08:28 pm (UTC)

Oh hooray, honesty! Honesty never wins prizes.

I have been given the opportunity to write work-based press releases for money. I thought you should know this since you're apparently in the same market.

Sat, Nov. 8th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)

Uh, I am--are you saying that there may be additional work of this nature, suited to a skilled writer, with years of experience? Does it pay more than $0.02/word? If so, is there a way to be "in" on this deal

Sat, Nov. 8th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)

I am actually saying this to "rub it in", as this is a) a temporary thing at best, b) pays significantly more than $0.02/word, and c) was only extended to me because I am wordy.
(Deleted comment)

Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008 09:02 pm (UTC)

Haha, not all the arcana have to be so bleak! There has to be an even balance of positive and negative ones. How about: THE SUBWAY; SENTIMENTAL FUGUE; FAT FREE CHIPS AHOY

PS, did you notice how my copywriting background has influenced my writing and thinking, in my "explanation" of this comic?

Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008 09:13 pm (UTC)

Even better, and more suited to our times: replace SENTIMENTAL FUGUE with CHILDHOOD

Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008 04:54 pm (UTC)

I think that comic's kind of actually pretty awesome. As is that Halloween costume.

Thu, Nov. 6th, 2008 05:40 am (UTC)

Thank you, truly. The comic does have that scary, naive-art charm, which was, uh, semi-deliberate (I was going for, I guess, a "balance" of naive and "competent"?). It is much harder to copy the Rider-Waite deck art style than I thought! As in, I thought it would be easy and come automatically, whereas in reality it is hard requires effort and I didn't do a good job of it at all. Of course, there was no time for another attempt. I also don't know why I can't get computer coloring to look right.

I was actually pretty embarrassed about posting the link to it here. At the same time, I was clearly willing to degrade myself on livejournal for a chance at 1000 Big Ones. I really feel embarrassingly relieved knowing that you liked the comic (for whatever reason).

Fri, Nov. 7th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)

are you still at SVA?

Fri, Nov. 7th, 2008 07:23 am (UTC)

Ran out of money! Also I found out that illustration graduate school (at least at SVA) is primarily an expensive vacation for people who are already established illustrators.

Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008 09:56 pm (UTC)

voted for the comic for sure

Sat, Nov. 8th, 2008 03:46 pm (UTC)

Wow, that was funniest reference to Durer I've ever seen.